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The White People and Other Weird Stories
Arthur Machen
Progress: 270/377 pages
The Crow Girl
Erik Axl Sund
Progress: 325/773 pages
"I clicked away from him and checked my email. Nothing there but invitations to spend money on enhancing what was between my legs. In my case this would be like souping up a rusty 1982 Ford Cortina, parking it in a garage and throwing away the keys. It did serve to remind me to look at the dating website where I half-heartedly filled in some details against my profile but could not think of a message to write that would make anyone want to contact me. "Middle-aged man who turned wife lesbian and makes living destroying marriages and photographing benefit cheats seeks cuddles and maybe more," was not going to attract the ladies, and I was in no mood for bullshitting."

The Bursar's Wife, by E. G. Rodford (copyright 2016; quote is from page 75 of the Titan Books trade paperback, March 2016).